Thursday, August 03, 2006

The Little Black Cloud

My Girlfriend has a theory:

There is a little black cloud that hangs over her head and brings bad luck whereever she goes. Never has this been truer than this week. On Friday, she was driving to work when the car in front of her broke suddenly, causing her to also break suddenly. Unfortunately, the Chevy Caprice behind her did not follow suit and she was rear ended. Turns out, the Chevy was really an unmarked state highway patrol vehicle (can't you see something like this happening on Super Troopers?) . He was a major, no less. A high ranking officer in the Oklahoma State Highway Patrol. And he gave her a bogus insurance number.

The following Monday is the big day for us. We have to take the car in and get 2 different estimates, take her to the doctor's office and get a perscription for some minor back pain. Everything is going great and according to plan. We go to the doctor, we get the perscription to the pharmacy, we get the first estimate (which is way too high - she doesn't want her car totaled).

Then the maddness begins. First, her perscription isn't covered by her insurance plan. OK, that's a problem that can be solved with a little bit of money, so in the grand scheme of things it's not a real problem. Once she's able to get the money, we decide to just pay for the perscription.

Unfortunately, her doctor is a bit of a quack and when we go to pick up the perscription, the pharmacologist informs us that the quack has perscribed her a drug that she's allergic to. So the pharmacy calls the quack doctor to change perscriptons and she gets a different anti-inflamitiory. Great news time! This one's covered by the insurance, so it's really cheap! So everything's looking great as we get the new drugs (on the forth thime to the pharmacy for those of you keeping track at home). And these drugs are great. They reduce the pain and don't have any drowsy side effects. Everything is going great. Trough Tuesday.

Wednesday morning, she spots some spots (I really didn't plan that double use of the word spot, sometimes shit happens) on her legs that itch a little bit. At first, we think it's bug bites. But later in the day, they get remarkably bigger. And Redder. And Itchier. And More of them. So we go to the minor emergency clinic to make sure she doesn't have Leprecy and the doctor there (this is not the quack, by the way) tells her that it's an allergic reaction to the new perscription.

Yippee! Hope she never needs anti-inflamitory drugs again since the two big ones cause major allergic reactions. Then the non-quack doctor perscribes a steroid pack to help her get over the reaction and tells her to discontinue her anti-inflamitory drugs immediately. He tells her to take Benadryl and if the symptoms get worse, to get the scrip filled and take the roids.

So Wednesday night, the itching gets so bad that while waiting for the Benadryl to take effect, I have to tie her hands up in pillowcases to prevent her from scratching herself to pieces. The spots have spread all over her body - head to toe. Legs, arms, neck, feet, scalp, face, hands, back, everything. Needless to say, we're getting the roids filled as soon as possible. So Thursday Morning we go back to the pharmacy to get this one filled and get her home. So now I get to watch her suffer through this increadably uncomfortable situation without being able to do really anything to help. All because of some State Trooper who couldn't be bothered to look up and break. And I bet he doesn't even get a ticket.